


Don't Give Up

by gray_autumn_sky



Series: Missing Year Fics [15]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 19:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13038246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gray_autumn_sky/pseuds/gray_autumn_sky
Summary: Regina travels back to the Missing Year in an effort to save Robin's soul.





	Don't Give Up

A puff of air clouds out in front of her as she lets out a shaky breath and bats away her tears.

No one knew that she was here, no one knew that she was in her vault–and if they did, they’d tell her that what she was doing was crazy and that it’d never work. They’d tell her that it’d fail, just like all of her other attempts–but this time, she was almost certain that it would.

She wasn’t sure why it hadn’t occurred to her before that Tinkerbell had gotten it wrong–that she hadn’t ruined his life by not meeting him in the tavern that night all those years ago, that she’d ruined his life by coming back into it. She realized now that fate had intervened–for so long, she’d thought it was fate that brought them together, but she realized now that it’d been fate that kept them apart.

Swallowing hard, she looks down at the bean in her palm and then, drawing in a breath, she drops the bean into the potion and watches it turn colors. A sad smile pulls onto her lips as it turns to a shimmery green and gold and then, her eyes close as she thinks back to the moment that set is fate into motion–the moment, he’d confessed that he was in love with her. It was one of her most cherished memories and the thought of losing it is almost too painful to bear–but it’ll all be worth it, if it means it’ll save him and bring him back.

With a shaky hand, she lifts the bottle and tears burn in her eyes as she looks at the potion, and then, before she loses her nerve, she closes her eyes closed and drinks the potion in one gulp.

When she opens her eyes again, everything is hazy–but she can clearly see herself and she can clearly see Robin.

For just a second, she stands there, watching the scene playout as she’s done a thousand times in her dreams–and for just a moment, she tries to hold onto it and savor it,  knowing that in just a few minutes, she’ll lose it forever…

_She stares at him with hard eyes, willing her jaw not to quiver._

_She knows that she took it too far and she knows that his angry gaze is her fault–and she hates that. She hates that when she feels vulnerable or insecure, she pushes at people–that she pushes and pushes until the people who care about her can’t take it anymore and decide that she’s not worth it._

_Swallowing hard, she reminds herself that she can’t cry–not now, not in front of him, and certainly not with him looking at her with such angry eyes._

_They’d gotten into a fight–and it’d been so petty. She’d been in a bad mood and he’d only been trying to cheer her up. Everyone else had realize there was no point in it–that she was going to be surly and unpleasant no matter what they did or said–but Robin hadn’t given up._

_And now, he was likely regretting it._

_She hated this pattern and she wished that she could break it–she wished that just once she could let someone in and let herself be comforted. But instead, she lashed out and tried to cut as deeply as she possible–and this time, she had certainly succeeded._

_Dragging Marian into this had been uncalled for–she knew it when she thought, she knew when she said, and she knew it now. And she also knew that she should just apologize. But it seemed a moot point now. The apology would seem empty and forced, and still her words would linger. They could never really move past them–they could pretend, but nothing would ever be the same._

_He sigh and shakes his head and he turns, taking a few steps toward the door–and her chest tightens._

_“Please don’t give up on me,” she whispers, her voice barely audible._

_“What?” He asks, turning back her. “What did you say?”_

_“Nothing,” she replies, again reminding herself to keep her tears at bay. “I didn’t say anything.”_

_“Yes, you did,” he tells and he takes a step toward her and his eyes narrow. “You… you asked me not to give up on you.” Her jaw tightens and she swallows. “Regina, did you think… did you think I was leaving?”_

_“Aren’t you?”_

_He blinks and shakes his head. “I was just going to shut the door,” he tells her. “You’re obviously upset and I’m sure you don’t want an audience.”_

_For a moment, all she can do is stare at him. “You-you’re not angry?”_

_“Oh, no,” he says. “I’m angry as hell.”_

_“Then why are you still here?” She asks in a shaky voice as her tears threaten to fall. “If you’re so angry then–”_

_“Because I love you,” he saying, cutting in as his voice rises over hers. “And when you’re in love with someone you don’t just walk out on them. You stay and you argue and… you forgive.”_

_Her breath catches in her throat, and finally her tears betray her. “You’d… forgive me for what I said?”_

_Robin nods. “Well, I hate to spoil a good argument,” he says as a coy little grin edges onto his lips. “But I already have. It’s done and it’s over with and–”_

_“You love me?”_

_“I do,” he says easily. “This isn’t how I wanted to–”_

_She doesn’t let him finish._

_Instead, she takes a few quick steps in to close the between them–and soon as she reaches him, she kisses him. It takes only a second for him to kiss her back, his hand brushing up over her cheek as she breathes him in–and all of the sudden, she can’t even remember why she’d been so angry…_

Inhaling a long, deep breath, Regina’s eyes close–and then slowly, she releases it and watches as the air in front of her turns the same shimmery green and gold the potion had been. She watches as it surrounds them–watches as it swirls around them until they begin to fade and once again tears fill her eyes as she says one last goodbye and tells herself it’s for the best.

Her eyes press closed and she tries her best to stop her tears, telling herself that holding on to a moment that surely led to his demise was selfish and cruel, and that he and his son deserved better–and when she opens her eyes she’s in the vault again.

She looks around, feeling oddly dazed–and she notices the empty bottle on the table in front of her. She blinks a couple of times as she picks it up and her eyes shift to the spell book beside it–and she feels the deepest sense of loss and she can’t help but wonder what it is that she wanted to erase from her memory.

Feeling unsettled, she rises and heads up the stairs. She’s lost in thought as she walks on the familiar path that leads from the mausoleum to the park–and then she hears a voice that sounds oddly familiar. Her brow furrows as she cranes her neck and a smile pulls onto her lips as she watches a man lift a little boy off the ground and swing him around. The little boy smiles and laughs and his dimples sink into his cheeks–and when the man looks up, his crisp blue eyes meets hers and his own dimples sink into his cheeks, and she finds herself smiling too as she feels the strangest sense of relief washes over her.


End file.
